Thursday, May 3, 2012

Enjoying A Moment Of Heaven With Jesus

After a few weeks of "Blog Silence", the Holy Ghost has instructed me that it is time to share what I have been learning.

For everyone looking for some "secret formula" that magically opens the heavens and causes God to fill your presence with His Glory all I can say to you is, "there is no formula". 

I came into Private Worship initially looking at the results being produced and wanting those results.  I watched Pastor Dave Roberson growing in Private Worship and witnessed the fruit developing as a result of his time with Jesus and I am not ashamed to say that I liked what I saw and wanted it.  

Being the kind of person that I am, I went at Private Worship determined to get the same kind of results and willing to do whatever was necessary to get them.  For example, Pastor Dave would just walk into the sanctuary and the presence of God would be so strong that people would begin to cry and inner healing would take place.  Once I experienced some of that inner healing for myself I knew I would do whatever was necessary to walk in that kind of anointing.  

Pastor Dave described hours alone worshipping the Lord with no music.  He said the atmosphere was dry with seemingly nothing happening other than the words of worship falling to the ground. 

Determined as I was to have results like I witnessed in Pastor Dave, I stuck it out and gradually the richness and the presence began to manifest.  Early on as I ministered and shared about my times with Jesus I was often unable to contain the tears.  Uncontrollable crying would come over me.  I was beginning to see the very tip of what Private Worship could produce.

As time has passed, somewhere along the way it dawned on my lighting fast mind that the results I am enjoying today from Private Worship aren't necessarily exactly what I expected.  Remember, I was after "results", the thick presence of God filling an auditorium in which I was ministering.  Don't get me wrong, I still want to see those times where my relationship with Jesus results in Him being able to manifest Himself in such a way that others are forever changed.  But, now I realize that my real heart motivation early on was for the awesome presence of God to manifest in order to validate my ministry and my accomplishments.  In other words, the motivation of my heart was not so much about my love for others and a desire to see them blessed as it was to impress them with what I had accomplished in the "spirit" and for that to confirm in their minds that I was truly anointed of the Lord.  How's that for a bit of honesty?  You will find that if you are really serious about the things of God and fulfilling His plan for your life, there will be times like this where He will have you face your own shortcomings and let the world share in your learning experience.

I know He wants me to see just how shallow that thinking really was.  Jesus never wanted me to excel in Private Worship so that the end result would be that my flesh would be exalted.  You are going to find that the closer you get to Jesus the more the light that shines out of Him will expose all your wrong motives.  

So, how was He finally able to bring me to this place where I could finally see "me" where I really am?  It has been a gradual progression.  As I look back, I can see that what He did first was to show me what He is really interested in is me developing a loving fellowship with Him, how He did this was so interesting.  Somewhere along this path God began to, randomly, get my attention and for those moments it was like, "oh hey God, I do really love You."  These encounters were brief and then be over, but in that moment He had my undivided attention and I knew something was happening between us.  Over time these short little encounters have continued.  They weren't every day occurrences, but when they happened I realized just how special these occasions with Him are.  Now I know, these brief moments with Jesus are actually the long lasting fruit that Private Worship produces and this is really what you are after.  Why?  Because finally you have given Him enough of yourself to fellowship with that He can come and for however long you and He can enjoy a moment of "heaven" together.  Yes, you want this.  Not to impress others with how "spiritual" you are, but to breathe a breath of "Heaven"with Jesus, wherever He happens to choose, because you have provided Him what is needed for this to happen through your Private Worship.  

I thoroughly expect these encounters to not only continue, but to increase in frequency and length.  I believe as I provide Him with more of me to fellowship with the result will be more fellowship.  Obviously, more fellowship with Jesus will result in more of His presence in me around me upon me to the point that others will be blessed by His presence.  

I hope this encourages you to stay in there and keep worshipping Jesus and watch for Him to come and visit you.

~Blessings     

1 comment:

Cassandra "Cassie" Bennett said...

Your transparency really hit me...I was after that too...trying to impress people...but as I pressed through I realized that I was being prideful. He showed me a heartbeat monitor as the heart was beating it was going up and down with the vertical zigzag motion, but when a person dies it goes flat across. He said as you mortify the fleshy things in you, the things that mattered to you won't affect you and you will be free from that. When you flatline that thing is dead. That is where I am headed to mortify those things that have interfered with my fellowship with God in order to have freedom in God. That is the level of inner maturity I am after now to please Him more than my own soulish desires. I want to do whatever it takes. Thank you for your testimony I am so encouraged by it.

This BLOG is the detailed Journal of my Experience and Journey Into Private Worship
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